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With online dating now prevalent across the globe, people are increasingly more vocal about their erotic preferences. It’s increasingly common e.g. for individuals to identify as being dominant/submissive. This post will focus on BDSM Dating, what it is, some common terminology, and how to go about exploring BDSM if you’re interested.

 

What is BDSM?

BDSM encompasses a range of erotic activities which involve: bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, submission, and other practices. The term BDSM originated in late 1906’s, but the behaviours it encompasses are prehistoric. The minority community and their terminology are becoming ever more widespread.

Bondage and Discipline – refer to erotic acts where the submissive partner is restraint with ropes, handcuffs, or by another person. Discipline is more behavioural correction achieved through physical or verbal humiliation.

Not all individuals who engage in bondage (using handcuffs) or verbal humiliation (calling their partner a slut) will see themselves as engaging in BDSM. This is largely due to how widely encompassing the term BDSM is.

 

Dom or Sub?

Dominant Person: Takes a position of control during sexual intercourse and erotic activities. A male dominant is called a Dom, a female dominant is called a Domme.

Submissive Person: Prefers to submit during sexual intercourse and erotic activities, often giving up control. Both male and female submissives are called Subs.

Two Subs or two Doms may not be able to satisfy each other. Although, some people refer to themselves as Switches, able to be dominant or submissive depending on the situation.

 

Sadism & Masochism

This area refers to giving and receiving pain. Masochists receive pleasure from having pain inflicted, sadists receive pleasure from inflicting pain.

How do you know what you like? You’ll have to experiment, experience, and reflect.

 

Exploring BDSM

The internet has allowed for new avenues to open up for individuals interested in exploring BDSM, and/or BDSM Dating. There are a number of avenues open for those looking to meeting bdsm contacts, those who participate in BDSM.

mybdsmhookups.com is one such website facilitating the meetings of Dominants and Submissives. Before simply venturing onto these niche platforms, it can be useful to have some tips on how to play safe and protect yourself.

  1. Make sure you’re comfortable: Take some time to talk to your partner or partners, to discuss what you’re expecting. This way all parties involved can proceed if they feel comfortable, and deal with fewer surprises.
  2. Choose a Safe Word: This is extremely important for new relations who aren’t as sure how far they want to go, and/or are only just getting used to their new partners. Agree on the Safe Word (E.g. FIRE) before the act. Then anytime you feel uncomfortable or would like to stop, use the word.
  3. Start Small: No need to buy loads of things. You can start small with blindfolds, and homemade gags.
  4. Have fun: Five minutes of laughter is better than 20 minutes of struggle.

Relax, your experiences are unlikely to be like 50 Shades of Grey with someone drawing up a sexual contract. I do hope this post has been informative, have fun, always be safe and use contraception!

 

By Shaneka Knight.

Instagram: Shanekaakknight

Facebook: Shaneka Knight

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