So, in the last few months, I think I’m subconsciously nesting. We’ve just moved house and busy putting our personal touches throughout. It is definitely feeling more like our home. And I’m enjoying working on it together, and then seeing what we have achieved.
My partner has 3 children who stay with us every other weekend. It’s tough. I don’t like the situation but I do know that I love my partner and I will do whatever it takes to have him in my life. Sometimes, I don’t think he realises how much I’ve sacrificed in order to be with him and how difficult I find the children. But I would never hold that against him. I know he is happier when it is the kids and I compared to when it’s just the two of us.
I’ve done loads of research into step mothers and their role and the results are so me! “Some stepmothers are shocked to discover that they feel resentment, anxiety, jealousy, indifference, or even downright dislike for their stepchildren. These negative feelings are perfectly normal, but they are difficult to admit and still more difficult to face.” With that in mind. I start my first counselling session on the 27th of December to try and deal with the situation. This will make everything better for them and me.
My partner does not want us to have our own child because he thinks it will be treated differently which would be unfair. Umm, yes I would. For instance, my Mother would treat her own grandchild differently compared to a child who she sees every few months. I would be more interested in my child’s upbringing, I think any Mother would be. But, yes he would find the balance difficult which I would respect. I’m hoping he will change his mind as I don’t want to resent him as someone who stopped me living my life as I feel his kids have stopped mine.
I guess this is yet another reason why I run.
By Kate Ball